Some Extra Crud

Like many kids, I didn't like crust on sandwiches when I was younger. My mom would cut the crust off our sandwiches so we'd eat them. My father was a short cut kind of guy. When mom went out of town one time, Dad took us out to dinner. Both of my grandmothers would have happily cooked for us, but Dad liked the excuse to eat out. Dad pulled up between McDonalds and Baskin Robbins (Metairie road in the 80s anyone?) and told my sister and me that we could go to McDonalds if we really wanted, but if we could keep a secret, we could have Baskin Robbins---one scoop for dinner, a second scoop for dessert. Yeah, short cut kind of guy. He would cut the crust off sandwiches for my sister and me, but at some point he told my sister that she really needed to eat the crust because that's where all the nutrients were. She believed this for years. After high school graduation, she went to Florida with friends and when one of her friends left the crust of her sandwich behind, my sister let her know that she really should eat it because it contained the nutrients from the bread. Those around her laughed hysterically, but the father who was on the trip laughed so hard he could barely breathe. Once he caught his breath, he said that my father had to be the one that told her that because it sounded so much like him. Everybody was shocked that my sister actually believed this. Nobody was more shocked than my father though. We still tease her about the crust.

I've always been quite pleased that Linus eats the crust with no complaints. On occasion she'll eat most of the sandwich and leave the crust behind, but she has never complained about it, nor has she asked me to cut it off.

When we started discussing dinner tonight, Linus mentioned what she wanted and asked if I'd cut the crud off. Army and I cracked up. She got her feelings hurt and asked what was so funny. Before either of us had a chance to answer, she said, "It tastes disgusting, isn't it crud? Hey, stop laughing! If it isn't called crud, it should be!"