Monday, March 17, 2008

Extra Congrats!

Congratulations Katy! You won the Sonicare toothbrush.

Since Army is in the medical field, I let him judge the contest. He laughed so hard when he read Katy's story. I had a similarly embarrassing event, so that little reminder sealed the deal. Perhaps I'll share my story tonight. We'll see.

Congrats Katy!


Thanks for the birthday wishes. Sorry I whined so much! I'm going to share a visual with y'all since it's too gross to keep to myself. Yeah, I'm nice like that!

Since Army was sick, I loaded up Linus in the car and we drove through a local restaurant to pick up dinner. I wanted Mexican, but this worked. It took almost 45 minutes, which seems rather ridiculous to me, but it is good. The worst part about the 45 minutes wasn't that Linus and I were starving, it was the man in front of us.

Let me paint as accurate of a picture of him as I can. He was driving a silver large car (Cadillac, maybe? I really don't remember). The car leaned massively to the left side. I could see that he was a rather large man, but I didn't realize just how large until he paid (two separate windows, kind of like at Wendy's). As he turned his body towards the window, and extended his arm out, I first noticed the patch of curly gray hair that should have perhaps resided under his arm pit (what a gross word!), but instead had taken up residency on the other side of his upper arm. Eww! As he raised his arm to pay the lady, I saw perhaps the most fear provoking sight ever...his hairy boobs perched on his window opening of his car. OMGosh, I wanted to vomit. It gets worse, he had the curly grays there too. Man boobs disgust me. Hairy man boobs perched on an open window freak the hell out of me. Shirts people...they're not just for females! Apparently bras shouldn't be either. And wax? It can be your friend.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Extra Suckage

Today sucked! Normally I'm not a big birthday person (not my own at least), but today is my birthday and it sucked! What did Army bring home today? A freaking stomach virus. I'm a total hurl-a-phobe, so this is beyond awful! Yeah, I know you are shocked at how completely filled with compassion I am, huh?

To top it off, our house hit the market today. Anybody want to guess what fun selling a house is when somebody is sick?

Ugh! Better tomorrow, I hope!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Extra Lazy

It's a good thing the teacher of a certain five year old has a sense of humor. I don't think she'll always be so lucky.

Linus brought home a sheet of paper that she worked on at preschool. On it her name was written twice with dots. She was to trace her name. She can write her name well, especially when it's all upper case letters, but these were written with lower case letters. Linus did as directed and traced her name twice. The next directions were to write your name twice. Instead of writing her name two separate times, she wrote LLiinnuuss. Why? It's soooo boring to do things I already know how to do. I asked her if she thought it was a good idea to not follow the teacher's directions. She told me that she did indeed write her name twice. I rephrased my question and asked if she thought it was a good idea not to follow her teacher's exact directions. She said that it probably wasn't, but that she knows her teacher loves her and she (teacher) laughed at it.

Do you have any idea how b-a-d it is for a teacher's child to be the one who gets in trouble? I always thought I'd go back to teaching when Linus goes to school. Now? MMaayybbee nnoott.

An Extra Ounce of Defeat

Don't forget, contest two posts down. I'll pick a winner soon, I promise!

Linus struck again tonight. Remember the knock-knock joke from elementary? The one that goes: Knock-knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry....? Well, Linus was telling horrible, er typical, five year old knock knock jokes tonight in the car. Then she asked her daddy to tell one. He made up an equally dumb one, and she laughed a huge ole belly laugh. Then the little stinker asked me to tell one, so I told the above knock knock joke, but here's how it went:

Me: Knock knock
Linus: Who's there?
Me: Boo
Linus: Boo what? (snicker)
Me: No Linus, that's not how it goes. Let's try again. Knock knock.
Linus: Who's there?
Me: Boo
Linus: Boo what?
Me: No Linus, you're supposed to say "Boo WHO?"
Linus: Don't cry Mommy, it's ok!

UGH!!! She totally set it up, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker! Army laughed so hard I though he'd run us off the road.

Still working on the house....

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Extra Trouble!

Don't forget: contest below.

Let me preface this by saying Army HATES these things, so we don't even have them. They are never mentioned in our house simply because we don't use them. My dad used to use one, but since his accident, I don't think he does anymore, and I know my mom doesn't. I don't really remember either of them ever really mentioning them either.

Last night, Linus and I were playing several different games. Once we cleaned up the playroom, Linus decided we needed to play another game. I asked her what we should play. She said, "I know! Let's play checkcard!" ACK!!!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Extra Clean Teeth! GIVE AWAY!

Poor Linus. She really hates the dentist. She clenches her jaw so tightly that they cannot clean the backs of her teeth without working really hard to open her jaw. I absolutely love this dentist, but I think we might be looking for another one before her next visit. They don't have "chairs" only beds. As in completely flat, no incline at all beds. That's the issue with Linus. She feels completely vulnerable when she's that flat. She's asked to keep her head up, but they won't let her. I've offered to let sit on the bed and let her put her head in my lap, but they won't go for it. One time a hygienist let her sit up, and that visit was much more pleasant.

Any time we pass the dentist's office, Linus announces, "That's where I DON'T go to the dentist!" If Army takes a day off work other than his normal days off, Linus panics and thinks she has to go to the dentist. It's really sad. I hate that my daughter fears the visits that much. I loved my childhood dentist--so much so that I've considered taking her to New Orleans just to see him.

This actually does lead up to a give away!

This month, I'm parting with a Sonicare toothbrush. I know I'm probably the only person in the world, but I'm not a real fan of them. What it all boils down to is coordination. I am apparently not coordinated enough to use one without getting toothpaste everywhere. EVERYWHERE! It's not a pretty sight. So, I'm offering the lucky winner mine. It was only used a few times. I soaked it in really hot water to clean it well. JUST KIDDING!!!!! I have a BRAND SPANKING NEW one to give away. It's NEVER been used! I threw away the one I hated at least a year and a half ago. It's long gone.

To enter this contest, you have to tell your most embarrassing moment at a medical office. I think if I just limited it to a dentist's office it'd be a little hard, so I'm opening it up to all medical offices.

Since misery loves company, I'll share my most embarrassing medical moment. To this day, my family makes horrible fun of me for this:

Shortly before Linus was born, I had to take some really powerful medicine. It worked wonders, but it also dried out my eyes. They were so dry that my eye doctor said I was scratching my eyes every single time I blinked. He insisted I use some drops to keep them moist, and he gave me several samples to use. I also had to go back frequently until my eyes recovered some. I had not run out of samples by my first visit, so I had not needed to buy any new ones yet which meant I hadn't paid close attention to the name of the drops.

When the nurse asked me for a run down of the medicines I was taking, I listed three (two others were a result of that original medicine that dried out my eyes). She asked me if I was sure that was all, and her inflection indicated that surely there was another. I thought for a minute, and said, "Oh yeah, and I use Replens in my eyes." The nurse gave me a really funny look, then she laughed. Like an idiot, I had NO idea what was so funny.

Um, turns out Replens is a VAGINAL moisture medicine. REFRESH is what I was using in my eyes. Like the moron I am, I had essentially told the nurse I was using a vaginal moisture aid in my freaking eyes!!! I must have heard it on a commercial or something, and since it sounded close enough, assumed that's what it was called.

Lovely, huh?

Your turn. Top that and you could win a Sonicare toothbrush.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

An Extra Fun Day


We had a fabulous day. I think five is special! I took Em to get her hair cut and her nails done. She was thrilled! When we got there, she told me, "I'm going to be a big girl and go by myself. You don't have to hold my hand this time." So off she went to get her hair washed. I was in the same room taking pictures, but I wasn't holding her hand. Then she got a good bit of hair chopped off. Sniff, sniff, my baby looks like a big girl! As usual she was obsessed with the mirror. I know, shocking! Ha! When we got her nails done, she told the manicurist, "I'd like sparklies, please. That's stylin'!" The lady got a kick out of that.

She chose the Piccadilly for dinner. She loves blue jello! After dinner, she asked her daddy if she could try her luck at the animal machine--you know, those annoying claw-grabber machines. She wasn't successful, so she asked Army to get her a specific one. Dang if the man didn't get it on his first try. Then the stupid claw wouldn't release it into the bucked, so we had to put more money in to get it out.

On the way home, we stopped at a bakery. She wanted a cupcake (cake will come when she has her party). Oh my goodness, icing everywhere! She didn't make that much mess when she was one!

Now she's tucked in bed. She looks so sweet and angelic. :)

Extra Birthday Wishes


My baby is FIVE today! Stories about our day later on. We're off to have some fun!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Extra Embarrassing

I don't think I'll ever take Linus out in public again.

We had to go to our realtor's office today to complete some paperwork for the house we are about to put on the market. Originally she was going to come to our house, but we changed plans and met there. Since Linus would be completely out of her element, I brought along her Leapster and a coloring book and crayons. That occupied her for a while, then she asked for some paper to draw on. I glanced at her sitting next to me, and she was happily drawing away. All of a sudden, with absolute glee, she announced loudly, "Look! I drew a toilet! And I'm sitting on it." As I worked quickly to push my bulging eyes back in my head and close my mouth, she announced, "Look at my toilet! Look at me on the toilet!"

I hushed her, and mentioned that we use the word potty instead of toilet. In true fashion, Linus told me, "Potty is a nice word. Toilet is not. You do dirty things in it, so you might as well call it by a dirty name."

I must admit, her potty drawing was rather impressive. There was no doubt what it was. Naturally if she had drawn a beautiful swan or something equally pleasant, you wouldn't be able to recognize it, but the potty? No doubt what it is.

I'll have the give away info up tomorrow. It's a good one!