A Little Extra Utensil Lesson

I know all children mispronounce words, usually at horrifically embarrassing times, but every time I think of/see/talk to my brother-in-law (my sis's husband), I immediately go back in my mind to a visit to Shoney's. Linus loved Shoney's when she was little because the manager always chatted with her and played with her. It didn't hurt that she also gave Linus a balloon each visit too. Shoney's had breakfast bar on Wednesday nights, which Linus loved. We loved it too because we knew she'd eat well; Linus could eat her weight in fruit, but hated all things meat. At that point in time, she still ate some vegetables too, which were always on the bar.

Linus is a complete ham and will go to great lengths to get people's attention. She works them until she gets a comment from them, or a nod at the very least. When she was little, she delighted in running up to young guys (late teens/very early twenties) and saying, "Daddy!" as if they were her father and she hadn't seen them in a while. The guys almost always turned bright red and started explaining away to their girlfriends that they did not know who she was nor did they have children. The girls usually found it hysterical. She would also wiggle her hand out of our hands and run up to gray-hairs and get hugs. It's a good thing we live in a relatively safe town! Anyway, she always goes to great lengths to capture attention.

We were near the end of our Shoney's meal, Linus had gathered her fair share of attention, and "the event" happened. Army was eating some pineapple, and Linus wanted it. She begged, "Pease, Daddy" and "Apple! Pease!" Army handed her a piece, but that didn't make her happy. She pointed to his fork, but since she wasn't feeding herself with utensils at that point (at least not large adult forks), we didn't really think much of it. She pointed again, so he tried again to hand her another piece of pineapple. Linus NEVER got upset as a baby, so what happened next shocked us. She pointed to the fork and wailed, "Fok" (I'm sure you can imagine exactly what naughty word it sounded like!) As I shushed her, Army did exactly what we thought she wanted. He put a piece of pineapple on the fork to feed her. Another shriek. "FOK!" At this point all of her new "friends" that she had made were looking at our table. "FOK! FOK! FOK!" I'm not kidding, nearly all eyes were on us at this point. I'm trying to decide if I want to slip under the table or pick her up and take her out. Since her highchair was in the way, it took me a second to attempt to swoop her up and take her out. It all happened in that extra second it took me. She pointed to the fork and yells at the top of her lungs, "FOK!" then she points to herself and yells, "ME!" So for the most part, she yelled, "FOK ME!" for the other patrons to hear. The place erupted in laughter. I turned five shades of red. Linus learned to bow at a young age (always the entertainer), so she bowed as best she could in her highchair, then she began clapping for herself. It was quite a while before we returned!