Monday, February 9, 2009

Extra Shocked, Extra Sad

I had a different post planned for tonight, but I got some news a little while ago that I'm having trouble coming to terms with. Be forewarned, there's lots of background with this.

One thing many teachers know is that principals come and principals go. A few gems stick around for years, but in general, their tenure at one school lasts a few years. For my first teaching job, I accepted a position at an inner-city school. I was young, and I believed I could make a difference. In general, I don't think I'm hot stuff, but quite honestly, I do believe I made a difference that year. Unfortunately, it was also a year riddled with some serious problems. My heart ached for these children. I spent the year at the doctor's office dealing with stomach issues resulting from my inability to compartmentalize my stress and heartache for these children. One was repeating the grade and had been ridiculed by a former teacher (it was documented & the teacher was not asked to return) for being "stupid." One was seriously ill and hospitalized. One was horribly abused (several teachers witnessed it, but DHS did nothing). One would skip breakfast and beg to come into my room (they waited in the halls reading books before the first bell) so she could sleep. She generally slept the first two hours after arriving at school---because she was too scared to sleep with the constant gunfire outside her window at night. One got sick on a regular basis because her family rummaged in garbage cans for leftover food. I was naive back then and believed that the school system was set up to help these kids. I was disapointed, heartbroken really, that this school did not seem to help. In the spring, one of my fabulous students (I mean that sincerely, not sarcastically) brought a gun to school. He was a very promising student with very caring parents. All of a sudden they were faced with placing their son in alternative school (the only placement for the school system because of the zero tolerance policy) or placing him in a private school which they could not afford. Seeing the pain in their faces proved to be the final straw for me. I knew that I could no longer be an effective teacher in that environemnt (the administration).

My next job was in a much more affluent district. It was actually the district in which I lived (this is important). It was VERY hard to get on in this district, so simply being hired renewed my faith a little in my teaching abilities. I once again felt like I could breathe. I had one issue that year, and the principal backed me entirely. My faith in the system was being restored. Then the principal abruptly announced her resignation. When a new principal was announced, my head began to spin again. She had previously been fired from our district for some very unethical issues. She then was hired in my old district, where she was genuinely hated. She remained there until they could no longer take her, and then she returned to my new district. We (teachers, other administrators, parents, other district employees--basically everyone) were shocked. Outraged. Disgusted. Her reign of stupidity was awful. After the first year, over half the faculty left. That's significant. I refused to leave (though I'll admit it crossed my mind). I knew I could outlast her (remember principals come and principals go), and I wanted stability on my resume. There were several cries of foul during her time at the school: thousands of dollars of PTO money was missing, school funds were missing, other things were stolen, etc. She also had ridiculously unethical suggestions for us: keep school money in your car and don't turn it in but once a month, etc. She'd give our home phone number to parents. When I couldn't be reached at home one day, she simply told the parent my address and how to get to my house. Lovely, huh? She made a big deal of how we appeared to the community (remember I lived in this community). Now I agree that we should present ourselves as professionals, but I do not agree that having boys sit in your lap in the community is a good idea! She'd try to "save" the students who were habitually in trouble. I'm all for helping them, but her ideas just let them fly under the radar now, and that will not help them. She'd make them office workers and hand them tests to run off instead of letting us run them off ourselves. Copies of our tests were everywhere. She'd DO projects for students at risk for failing. Helping them do it? Yes, a student can learn from that. DOING it for them? Absolutely not! She plagiarized multiple times and was caught doing so. She bragged about getting new tires on school time and using school money to do so. Bragged. Openly.

Although the school had a superior rating when she began, it quickly began to fall. Teachers had their hands tied (we were told no grades recorded below 60 ever; she also changed--openly--students grades on a regular basis). While I realize that may not sound like a huge deal, it is a really big disservice to the child and their parents. A parent does not know their child does not grasp a concept if they continually bring home good grades. If a child does not understand one step in building block concepts, they cannot be successful as they climb the ladder. It's just not fair to the child. You are setting them up for failure.

At any rate, her reign of stupidity lasted several years before she moved on (to another job that she GOT FIRED from because of unethical issues---google it, you'll find her name, and now her name comes with a nice large lawsuit because her image is tarnished, tsk tsk).

So many of us were just worn out at this point. Our faith in the educational system had hit a new low. We were all excited to get a new principal; somebody who could renew our faith. We didn't really care who it was, though there were rumors that the high school assistant principal was going to be our new principal. Rumors proved true, and we were thrilled! He brought a breath of fresh air to the school, and for the first time in years, a positive light was shining brightly in all the eyes of the teachers. His impact was immediate.

With our new principal, came a new assistant principal. For what it's worth, I loved one of our assistant principals under the last principal---adored him!--but his hands were tied. He tried so hard to help, but when you are met with defeat over and over again, it brings you down. Anyway, the new assistant principal was wonderful too. He and I hit it off immediately. Our personalities just meshed. Both the principal and assistant principal supported us wholeheartedly. It was such a welcomed change.

Anything we needed, the principal or assistant principal (or bookkeeper--she's awesome) made sure we had. They believed in us. They knew we'd been beaten down, and they worked very hard to build us back up. They cheered us on both professionally and personally. They understood that things happen. They treated us like humans--not only humans, but adult humans--for the first time in years. They asked our opinions, and they listened to them. Our students flourished under their leadership. So did our teachers. The entire school environment changed. We were once again a happy place. They encouraged us along the way, and they thanked us for what we did. Our school regained its previous reputation. Most of us were reunited with former love for teaching. I loved these guys, I truly did, as did many other teachers that year.

After a few years, the assistant principal moved on to become the principal of another school. His teachers there loved him too, and would happily do whatever he asked.

Recently he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He has a school that loves and needs him. More importantly, he has a wife. He has children. And he likely has less than a year to live. Less than a year to spend with his wife. Less than a year to spend with his children. Less than a year to hug and kiss them. Less than a year to play with them. Less than a year to make memories to last their lifetimes.

I know any of us can go at any moment, but knowing you are dying (though he says he's choosing to live in the present) has got to be hard.

He has such a positive attitude, but I just can't seem to shake my sadness for him. For his wife. For his children. And for generations of future students and teachers.

9 comments:

Leia H said...

That's really sad to hear. No one should have to deal with such illness or sadness. So sorry.

You really went through a lot in your years of teaching. That explains a lot about you. I don't think I would have lasted a week at your first school. I don't have the guts. You are amazing :)

Jeannie said...

Cancer sucks. I will think good thoughts for your friend and his family.

Wow, about your school career. Unbelievable that they let that woman do so much damage for so long. (I would love to google it if you want to share the name....) Good for you for persevering. OH, and that first school system would have broken my heart, too. I wouldn't have been able to do it, seeing so many kids who need help and not being able to save them all.....

Alice said...

My best friend Kelly (who died of cancer almost three years ago) was a teacher. She had just earned her certification when she was diagnosed with leukemia. And it was so unfair. Certainly to her husband and children and best friend who loved her. But also to all the children she would never get to teach.

But you know what...she taught as much as she could until she was confined to a hospital bed. And then she taught us more than she ever could have in front of a chalk board.

Your friend is not through teaching yet. And if he is as wonderful as you say(and I'm sure he is), his lessons will live long after he's gone.

Prayers for all who love him. It is not an easy journey, but I hope that there is some measure of peace during this difficult, difficult time.

joanne said...

That was very interesting to learn a little more about you and your career. I would not have wanted to hang in there but there is something about me that would have...the kids probably.
I am so sad for your friend. Sometimes I get all caught up in the unfairness of death and it takes me a long time to process it..Sometimes I never do and it just eats away at me. In any case...prayers and love are coming your way for you and your friends/family.
We had a Superintendant of Scools a few years ago, Norm Stanford, who swooped in for a short while and lighted up the community, parents, most of all the kids. He was only here a short time and then dies of cancer. The impact he made will never be forgotten, nor will his love and compassion. They are few and far between but we are better for knowing them right?

Mike said...

My wife is a teacher and everyday she has a new and different story to relate. Sometimes its about the administration, sometimes its something about the students.

She has formed close relationships(as you have) with those she is working with. I can tell when she's having a tough time and its usually because of someone at school.

I agree, as a cancer survivor (melenoma)it sucks. I don't know if knowing how long you have is a blessing, but he has the right positive attitude...

katy said...

That is so sad. I bet the memories they make in the next year will be special. My cousin died from breast cancer when her children were about 8 and 11 and she had bought graduation gifts, wedding gifts and special occasion gifts for them, wrapped them and had them put up for their father to give them at the appropriate times. Those special days are always full of memories of their mother.

Mary Ellen said...

I hate to hear about good and decent people being dealt such an unfair blow. How incredibly sad. I'll say a prayer for him and his family.

You have quite the interesting teaching career. I admire you for sticking with it. My mom was a teacher for 38 years, and I have all the admiration in the world for you.

Debbie said...

Oh Lanny. Such sad news and I will keep this wonderful soul and his family in my prayers. I'm so sorry.

I admire teachers so much for what they have to deal with on a daily basis. I know I couldn't do it.

You are wonder EXTRA special person sweetie :)

joanne said...

Lanny,
your somment on my post today has me wondering. I had/have no idea about your medical past. Would you or have you shared it here? Or possibly Caringbridge? I'm sorry if I seem nosy but I've come to know you as someone very special in my bloggy world and I care about you and your health.
take care
jj