Extra Advice

Once upon a time, there was a family with a five year old daughter. This daughter loved everything musical.  This family was in the midst of moving.  The couple that bought this family's home wanted ridiculous things assessed before they moved in.  This couple wanted a termite wood infestation report (that cost that couple money that they did not need to spend) even though this house was a brick house built on a slab, and the family had an active termite bond that had remained active the entire four years that this home existed. 

The termite guy wanted to come in the midst of the family moving, and in the interest of making sure the home truly sold and sold on time, they allowed this guy to come.  And so he came...in the midst of a move.

The adorable five year old who loved all things music had two different recorders (the instrument) that she loved to play, but she loved to take them apart even more than she loved to play them.  In fact, this precious five year old may have taken one apart when she took a bath in her mommy's tub.  She may also have put away the mouth piece and the bell piece at the end, but she might have left the long middle piece on the side of the tub.  

When the termite guy came, he may have had to go into the five year old's mommy's bathroom. And he might have noticed a part of a recorder next to the tub. And he might have laughed.  The mommy may have had an inquisitive look on her face, so the guy may have pointed to the recorder and said, "Sorry, it just reminds me of 'One time at band camp..."  And the mommy may have giggled 'cause that's one of her husband's favorite movies.  

Then the guy might have looked in their closet and turned to the wife and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am." to which the mommy asked why.  The guy may then have said, "About the divorce. There's ladies clothes in here, but no man's so I'm assuming you're moving because of a divorce."  

The mommy was so stunned that she may have just said, "Oh no, that's not the case." just about the same time the termite guy looked back at the recorder and turned BRIGHT red.  

About that time, the guy may have walked out of the bathroom and back into the mommy's room and noticed a hot pink boa that the cute five year old left on the mommy's dresser.  And  this might be the exact point that the termite guy got the hell outta dodge.

Then the mommy may have been telling her neighbor how weird the termite guy was.  The neighbor may have asked the mommy if she realized just what the guy thought she was doing with that recorder, especially since he thinks she's newly divorced and doesn't have a man around.  And that mommy might be just naive enough (or just plain stupid enough) to not have known.  The neighbor, not wanting the mommy to be left out, may have told the mommy to think about how the girl character shocked the guy character in American Pie with one of her "One time at band camp" stories and exactly what she did with her flute. 

OH. MY!  

So, you just might want to make sure there is NEVER a recorder next to your tub when the termite guy comes over.

Just sayin'