Extra Great

Right now I'm sitting on my back patio watching my best friend's son and my daughter have the time of their lives.  They've known each other since birth (literally, they're 3 weeks apart), and although it doesn't feel like we see each other nearly enough, they seamlessly mesh into best friends themselves.  In the past, my friend and I have always been a close part of their play. Now they've grown enough to enjoy truly playing with each other without any intervention.  While we thoroughly enjoyed being a part of their play, it's rather nice to be able to sit and chat too.  

I used to think there was nothing better than spending time with a best friend. Now I know watching your children play while you enjoy time chatting is much better.  I feel so incredibly blessed today. 

Extra Young

A few of you commented, and a few more emailed, about my friend's murder.  Thanks for you thoughts, I truly appreciate them.  

My friend's murder happened nearly 10 years ago, so the emotions aren't as raw for me as they once were, though I do still miss her.  I'm sure they are for her parents though. Nobody is supposed to bury their own child. 

My friend was the friend that everyone wants to be around.  No matter what the circumstances were, she saw the positive side.  She was tiny (I'm only 5'3", and she wasn't even my height when she wore heels. I doubt she weighed 100 lbs in heavy winter clothing) and spunky.  I don't think I ever witnessed her being rude in all the years I knew her.  She had long brown hair, and was incredibly lucky to have natural golden highlights.  She had sparkling eyes that would light up a room.  And she had a contagious laugh.  Her laugh would dissolve everyone in the room into uncontrollable giggles.  I am SO thankful that I can still hear her laugh when I think about her.  Everyone loved her laugh almost as much as they loved her.  

Guys flocked to her.  

She was a very loyal person. She was loyal to her friends, and faithful to her boyfriends.  She'd never even consider another guy until things were completely over with a guy she had dated.   Towards the end of her life, she dated a guy everyone liked.  He was a great guy. Unfortunately they had ambitions that led them in different directions.  Knowing she'd consider holding back on her ambitions to help put him through law school, he decided to "end" their relationship. It was never meant to be a final end on his part, but he knew she would insist on helping him achieve his goals and put her own on the back burner.  She was young, and she felt she had plenty of time to get where she wanted to go.  She was just that kind of person. She had a huge heart.

Jump ahead a year...

She and I remained close and in regular contact, but we were now living in different states.  In fact, she was living in a different state than any of our friends were.  

Not even three months after my wedding, I was preparing for Spring Break (I was a teacher).  A group of us were getting together for a girls night out. Early one morning the phone rang. Army answered it, and I could tell something was different. I could only hear his end of the conversation, but I heard him say, "I'll tell her." followed buy, "Sure. Let me hand her the phone." I glanced at caller id as he handed me the phone. It was a friend whose birthday is a week before mine.  I tried calling her on her birthday, but I couldn't reach her.  I figured she was just calling me back or was calling to wish me an early happy birthday.  

Lan? It's Kate. (Her voice sounded really serious)

Hey Kate!  Happy Birthday!  

Lanny, I um, I, I...

Who's that in the background? Is that L?

Yeah, Lanny, it is. We, I, um, L's mom just spoke with T's mom. She's about to call your mom, but I told her I'd call you.

What? Why? Why are all our moms talking? What's going on? (As I said this, Army wrapped his arms around me from behind. I knew it couldn't be good, but I NEVER imagined I'd hear what came next).

Lanny, (long deep breath) T's gone.

Gone where?

Gone Lanny, she's dead.

You're kidding right? People our age don't die.  Haha. That's not funny!  Is she there with y'all? 

(silence on the other end)

Kate! That's. NOT. Funny.  Stop it. 

(sniffles on the other end)

Kate, really, this isn't funny. Please stop. Really, people our age don't die. She can't be dead.

(sobbing on the other end)

No, Kate! NO! She can't be. (At this point I became numb)

Her visitation and funeral were packed.  Her mom hugged each one of us with a deliberate and long embrace.  When she got to me, she broke down (not because it was me, I was just at the end of our line of friends).  We all sobbed. None of us could utter a comprehensible word.  

My group of friends that was supposed to go out and celebrate Spring Break suddenly found ourselves at the funeral of a friend. A young friend.  And because she was murdered, the casket had to be closed.  Because it was closed, none of us could believe she was really gone. Glancing over at her mother, though, we knew she was.  And with that, several young friends experienced the first significant loss of innocence.  Before we thought that happened to other people, now it had happened to one of us.

An Extra Touch of Irony

Two things have happened concerning recent posts.  

1) The very first friend I made the very first day of first grade (most kids had gone to this school for kindergarten, and although I was registered to, I did not) got in touch with me.  I was excited about first grade, but I was also quite scared.  On that first day, my new friend offered me her chocolate milk. Now really, is there anything better than being offered chocolate milk the first day?  She and I became quick friends, and we were excited to learn we lived a mere two blocks away from each other.  We remained close for several years, but we eventually drifted apart.  I do not think I have seen her since my wedding.  Hopefully we'll be able to meet up again soon.  Talk about timing though!

2) The bitch spoke this morning.  I was tucked away in bed sleeping rather soundly.  Before she could even telling me where the fault in the system was, I had jumped out of bed.  Thankfully Linus had snuck into our room during the night. Since she was in our room, I was able to lock my bedroom door and head for the phone.  Linus was still asleep, so I chose not to wake her up. She told me that the basement door had been opened.  Thankfully I can key-lock the basement off from the rest of the house.  One thing I noticed on the way to the phone was how bright it was outside. I must have really overslept, because judging by the light, it had to be at least nine.  On my nightstand with the phone, there is a clock.  The clock clearly said it was much earlier than 9:00. Before grabbing the phone to call the police and rat out the intruder, I glanced at the dog's bed. She as gone.  Dang it!  At this point I was pretty awake and realized she spoke because Army let the dog out.   Have I mentioned lately that she drives me nuts?

Friendship That Lasts an Extra Long Time

After talking with my closest childhood friend, I realized we've been friends for nearly 25 years.  People who were 25 were really old to us when we met, so it amazes me that not only are we now older than 25, but we've been friends nearly that long!  She knows everything about me, she's the one friend (aside from Army) who I don't freak out about crying in front of, and I can't imagine life without her in it.  She's always been there for me when I needed her, and I've been with her through some unimaginable times too. No matter what the situation, without fail, she can always put a smile on my face.  Trips down memory lane together leave us giggling like school girls.  Everyone needs a K in their lives!

So, how many years have you known your best friend?  For the record, I don't think a friend has to be a friend for a long time to be a great friend. K and I were inseparable after knowing each other for a matter of a few weeks.  We just clicked that well.