Um, yeah, reality sinks in

And this, my friends, is why we'll only have two...*

We got a phone call this morning that Linus stuck a bead in her ear. As luck would have it, Army wasn't in the office today, so I couldn't just run her by so that he could remove it. That would be way too easy.

On my way to pick her up, my mind wandered; dancing around my mind were thousands of random thoughts. After the obvious I hope she's ok and not too scared, I moved on to dang, I'm glad we didn't skip her bath last night which progressed to I hope her ear isn't full of wax. Then it occurred to me that you have to put a reason for checking your child out of school. I was not putting "stuck a damn bead in her dadgum ear" on the sheet of shame for all the parents to see. I opted for "sick" since she'd have to go to the doctor...that does make her sick afterall, doesn't it?

What do you say when you pick up your child who has just stuck a foreign object in an orifice? The accident report cracked me up. The blame game has already begun...found a bead in her own classroom and stuck it in her ear (she wasn't in her room when it happened). Ha! I'm not blaming y'all for this. My child did it. Actually, the first version of the story from her lips involved a bead that she found in her classroom, stuck in her pocket, and it magically jumped in her ear. She eventually said, "Well, it didn't exactly just jump there on its own. I stuck it in the empty space." I'm sorry Linus, did you just tell me you stuck a bead in the empty space between your ears? Please, my baby, please let's find another way to phrase that.

While we were in the car, we made it to the root of the reason for the tears. She was worried the bead was going to roll further in and go to her brain. I could have settled for "What brain Linus? You stuck a stinking bead in your ear. Are you sure you used a brain for that one?" but instead I nicely told her that it couldn't and wouldn't. Oh, but I'm not a doctor, so how can I know? So we had to call Daddy so that he could assure her that it wouldn't go to her brain. I'll have to remember the comfort that gave Linus the next time we write one of those huge education loan payments to Sallie Mae.

We got home, and despite LOTS of drama, Army was able to look in her ear. Sure enough, there's a bead. Naturally, since Army doesn't make a habit of carrying all of his instruments home just in case, he didn't have the needed equipment for the beadectomy. A humiliating call to the dr's office later (I know there's no way we're the only ones who have ever called for this despite the way they made it sound) and Linus had an appointment. After some playful drama (and,really, I don't blame her at all---I'm sure I'd be a little dramatic if somebody was fishing something out of my ear) the bead was removed. Poor Linus, the dr handed it to Army who promptly inspected it then threw it away. I think she wanted it as a battle scar memento.

Once home, Linus played for a few minutes, then she fell asleep for a solid four hour nap. I think the worry wore her out. But OH MY GOSH! She woke up full of energy. Bedtime didn't come easily tonight. The house was very quiet while Linus napped (imagine that!) so Lolly fell asleep and took a three hour nap. Wow! The two of them were on a roll tonight. L-O-U-D and W-I-L-D.


•Not really. I'll post about it someday though.