Extra Extra Extra Embarrassed

I'm a part of a great organization that volunteers our time and services mainly through Children's Hospital. I'm proud to be a part of this organization because we truly do make a difference in lives of children (and their parents too).

I was asked to mentor one of the new members. Unfortunately I wasn't able to chat with her much before the meeting. When the meeting ended, we made some small talk to get to know each other better. She has a new baby, so we spent some time discussing working out of the home after children are born. I mentioned that I think it is truly a very personal thing. I believe some people make very good stay-at-home mothers, and I believe some people are better mothers for working. Take my sister and me for example. I stay home. I know I absolutely do not have it together enough to work a full time job outside the home, keep my home tidy and clean, feed my family, and make time for Linus. My sister, on the other hand, is able to do all of that and work full time. She loves her children more than imaginable, yet she'd go nuts at home full time. I don't go nuts (most of the time, at least). She's better suited for working; I'm better suited staying at home.

Anyway, the person I'm mentoring and I were discussing returning to work. She's recently returned, but she's giving herself a few months to decide whether or not being a working parent is for her. I was telling her that the year Linus was born, I'd managed to convince my principal that she needed me part time, not full time. Thankfully, she was able to work such a situation out. It ended up that I was very sick the first part of the year, and Linus was born the second part of the school year. Our principal retired during that year, and a new principal replaced her. When contract time came, I was offered a full time position because he was not able to budget my part time position.

I was explaining the situation of full time vs part time to the lady. Unfortunately, that's not exactly what I announced (loudly). I said, "I decided to stay home because I really did not want to work full time. I wanted a fart time position, but he couldn't budget it." We don't even use that word in our house! I wanted to crawl under a table once I realized what I said. Here she is still professionally dressed from her work day, and I'm in jeans (as were other members, I wasn't under dressed) telling her I wanted to work fart time.

The worst part is I didn't even realize what I said until she got this funny look on her face. I'm just blabbing away. Ugh!

Unfortunately, that's not the first time I've embarrassed myself with such verbal stupidity. My other two were SO BAD though, that I won't even write them here. I guess I talk too quickly and my brain can't keep up with my mouth. Sad!

Some Extra Embarrassing Moments

Christmas was great! I'll write more about it later. I've been busy getting things together for the new year. Army and I are likely going to be making some big changes in our lives (nothing bad!), I'm attempting to return to meal planning once again, I've got a few prizes for y'all (oh, I don't know, something super-sonic, and something deen-a-licious among other things).

Friends and family enjoyed retelling some of my embarrassing moments over the holidays, so I'll leave you with a few tame ones for now. Generally, I weigh my words carefully in an effort to not hurt other people's feelings, but when I'm not worried about that, I tend to spew ridiculously embarrassing junk without thought. In high school, I was voted "Most Likely to be an Astronaut" because of my space cadet tendencies. When you combine those two personality flaws, you get lots of embarrassing moments!


The first two I'm responsible for:

Where I used to live, there is a deli with a drive thru. I drove up and placed my order (which was what I always got, so I didn't look at the menu), then drove up to the window to get my order. This particular place put a paper copy of the menu in the pick up window, so I glanced at it after I paid but while I was still waiting for my food and change. I noticed they had 8" subs. When the guy came back to give me my food, like a total moron, I said, "Wow! You've got an 8 inch? Most people only have 6 inches!" Everyone within earshot erupted in laughter, and I had no clue what I said wrong.

I went to a doctor's office. I knew he was Jewish (Army is friends with him, that's how I knew). As he's leaving the room, he said, "Peace be with you." I'm Catholic, and at mass we respond to that with "and also with you." Since he is Jewish, I had no idea what to say, so I just kind of smiled and let out a nervous giggle. A minute later his nurse came in and said, "Hi, I'm Denise." He had said "Denise'll be with you" but he had slurred it, so it sounded like Peace be with you. Thank God I didn't say, "and also with you!"

And one courtesy of my aunt:
After my sister's wedding and reception we went out to get a bite for dinner. We were discussing what time it was where my sister was honeymooning. My aunt pipes up with, "Well, it's an 8 hour flight, so they must be 8 hours behind us. It's probably about noon there right now."