Extra Sorry!

I did something I haven't done in years. I ate fried food tonight. And now I'm sorry. Very sorry. I think it will be many, many, many more years before I eat it again.

Nevermind. I think it will be never.

An Extra Meaning

Babies suck.

Army: What did you say, Linus?

I said babies suck.

Army: Linus, we do NOT use words like that in our house.

Oooookaaay, but why not? How else can Lolly eat?

And I had to hide on the stairs and hope they couldn't hear me snorting with laughter.

Another Extra Marital Affair

Would you believe I had an affair with Gene Simmons?

No? Really? How 'bout now?

An Extra PSA

My grandmother would have celebrated her 100th birthday yesterday. Would have. An ugly beast called cancer robbed us of some precious time with her.

My grandmother was the picture of health. She exercised daily, was a health conscious eater, and handled stress well. She was everything we're told cancer is not. Yet it still took her life.

I'm not sure if you've ever watched a person you love in the end stages of a dreadful disease, but it's pretty awful. I'm a huge fan of hospice; they truly made a difficult time easier, but it's still had to watch a loved one die.

Survival rates in America have increased dramatically over the years. Most cancers have high survival rates if caught early. If you *think* you might have any symptom, please get it checked out.

And now for something I rarely discuss: If you aren't happy with your doctor's diagnosis or lack thereof, PUSH for what you need. TRUST your gut! Had I listened to my doctor, I 100% guarantee I would not be here today. That's not a gut feeling, it's a fact.

An Extra Spanish Lesson

It's no secret that I was not fond of Linus's Spanish teacher at her old school.  Linus came home the second week of school with this "cutesy" little thing that the was supposed to be a "good job" dance. It was anything but cute.  She had this saying that was done in a sing-song voice, hand movements that went along with it, and it ended with her kissing her pointer finger, turing her bum to us, and sticking her finger on it while making the sizzling sound.  I'm totally aware that most kids do something similar at some point in their lives, but I'm not too fond of a teacher teaching it to my FIVE year old.  Call me old fashioned, but it rubbed me wrong.  

Linus, however, does not know that I'm not a fan of this teacher, so I'm fairly certain that she isn't just trying to get away with something by blaming somebody else for what she did the other night...

After counting to twenty in Spanish, she proudly began clapping and announced, "Crap!"  Army was stunned, and figuring he heard her incorrectly, asked her what she said.  "Crap!" she repeated while clapping again.  Army told her that was not an acceptable word in our house, and she got this puzzled look.  "Why not Daddy? It's Spanish for clap. Ms.____ said so the other day."  

I'm not as up on my Spanish as I should be. Does anyone know what word she could have been trying to use?  Anything close?

Extra Creative

Linus got in a bit of trouble today for littering the basement with crayons, markers, paint, paper, and dvd's.  

At dinner tonight, Army asked Linus if she had picked up.  Linus smiled and told him that she had.  

Army: A lot or a little?

Linus: A teensy tiny bit

A: Well, you better head down there after dinner and pick up ALL of it. 

L: Ok Daddy, but that will cut into my bedtime you know, so you can't get upset if I go to bed late!  

And he's so stinking wrapped that he just smiled at her creative way of staying up late.

Embarrassing But True

I've mentioned before that we only eat dessert on Tuesdays and Saturdays. It's our way of keeping our weight in check. Unfortunately, we've been rather lax lately. Army and I discussed it (and our expanding waistlines) this weekend, and we decided it was time to get back to our Tuesday/Saturday rule.

And we did well Sunday and Monday. By Tuesday I wanted chocolate. We had a few pieces of mini candy, and we called it good...'til Wednesday when we had the following conversation. Oops!

Girl Who Won't Be Named: I want some chocolate.

Evil Husband: It's not Tuesday.

GWWBN: Um, duh! Yes it is!

EH: (laughing) No it isn't! Nice try.

GWWBN: YES IT IS! Look at the calendar Einstein.

EH: Ok, why don't you come here and look at it with me.

GWWBN: Why does it say October?

EH: Because it IS October. It's WEDNESDAY October first.

GWWBN: Stop being a jerk. It's not funny, and it's not cute. I'm emotional, and I'm hormonal. It's not a good combination, so stop messing with me!

EH: Um, really. It's Wednesday. Didn't I go to work today? (He doesn't work on Tuesdays)

GWWBN: Well, shit! Fine! But I still want chocolate.

EH: I thought we...

GWWBN: STOP RIGHT THERE. Don't even try to pull that 'I thought we were going to be good' stuff. I need chocolate. I need it now. It will make me feel better. Got it?

So the evil husband went to the store to get some chocolate. And the wife ate it...then she got sick. Twisted irony!